“Yeah, I Used The Word, ‘Depression’”

Late last year, I was mostly feeling shitty about myself.

I woke up every day knowing that it was going to be a horrible day ahead.

I drank every day too.

I started to tell friends that I was depressed, that I was battling depressed.

I kind of knew this because the narrative in my head changed one day. I noticed there was a lot of, “Who the fuck cares?”, “It doesn’t matter any more” and “I don’t care.”

There was no more rationalizing, reflecting, planning or thinking.

I just plain didn’t want to give a fuck anymore.

Today, I feel a lot better. I don’t feel so shitty all the time.

I got better by changing everything around me, bit by bit.

The “cure” to my “depression” was working to change different aspects of my life for the better.

The “cure” was not taking in something, like medication or tons of therapy that supposedly will heal you since that’s what they always say in the field of study.

To be honest, today, when I talk about this, I only say to friends, “Yeah, I did use the word ‘depression.’”