This ONE Thing Self-Help Bloggers Are Not Telling You

Alden Tan
3 min readJul 28, 2016


Pardon the Clickbaity headline. But well, I am honestly sorry-not-sorry about it.

It just seemed like the perfect headline to grab your attention.

So, this is the one thing that self-help bloggers all around are not telling you:

That you relapse

The self-help, personal development, self-improvement or whatever you want to call it space is filled with so much absolution that it’s easy to think that these bloggers’ lives are super awesome and free of problems.

Of course, that’s bullshit.

But vulnerable people looking for real help online think that these guys are perfect angels who have the answers to everything.

And then they’re lured into their buying their shitty products.

Please, for your own sake. Stop. It’s okay to look for some answers, but stop putting these douchey people up on pedestal.

Story time!

I once connected with a, ugh… “life coach” online. You know, one of those annoying millennials who just graduated from college and then claim that they know what life is all about?

This was years ago. I was talking to him about my battle with anger.

He then told me to start meditating [WHAT FUCKING ELSE RIGHT?!]

I was like, oh yeah?

Then he said, “Yes! Ever since I started meditating. I do not feel anger anymore in my entire life.”

I must have been talking to a serial killer the whole time.

Read that again. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

Don’t you see how most self-help articles online come across like that?

Nobody is perfect. There is no one perfect answer.

You’re only human and you’re bound to relapse from time to time and start making mistakes again.

So what if that blogger wrote about getting out of his getting out of his comfort zone? He got out of ONE fucking comfort zone. There’re many more to go in life.

So what if that blogger wrote about going viral with that article? Did he manage to reproduce it and consistently go viral? There’s a reason why all of these “How I went viral” articles ALWAYS start with, “I didn’t expect this go viral.” THEY DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING ALL ALONG!

So what if that blogger wrote about gaining insane productivity with his lifehacks or whatever? People still experience their bad days because shit happens you know?

So what if that blogger claims to sleep only four hours everyday and does a lot of shit? Do that, and I bet you’ll be falling sick a lot.

So what if that blogger managed to make $1245,2314 in 2 days, 2 hours, 2 minutes and 2 seconds? What are his actual losses? What is his real profit? How many times did he fuck up just to get here? Why is it so many of these pretentious guys are hiding the fact that they had a lot of advertising money? Did his next endeavor fail?

So what if that blogger knows the tricks to being motivated all the time? We get tired. We won’t be motivated sometimes. That’s why you should chill out and go take a break!

So what if that blogger wrote about how he knows what to say to get a girl’s phone number at the bar? Did she pick up his calls? Was it a fake number? This can happen. It’s really common.

So what if… Oh my god, whatever. I’m stopping here.

Again, stop thinking these self-help bloggers are god-like.

They’re people.

They have some tips and guides for you, but at the end of the day, they’re still human and are perfectly fallible.

Just like you and me.

By all means. Learn all you like. But don’t get too disheartened when things fall apart again or when you relapse.

Life is a mystery. That is a fact. Nobody gets it right the first time or most of the time. Nobody has the perfect answer. Whoever told you otherwise is a god damn liar.

We’re just playing along and figuring it out as we go forward. And yeah, shit happens, and that’s the meaning of life.

You just try then.

You just do what you gotta do. You just keep on keeping on.

And even if it’s at your own pace, it’s fine.

Nobody is judging you… except maybe these fucking annoying self-help bloggers. bitch