Member-only story
Back then when I was 12, I completed a major examination in my primary school.
I did badly.
I scored so low that it was just disgraceful.
My friends and family did way better.
I remember my cousin coming to my home the day of receiving the results. She did decently well. She was happy. She was like, “What?!” when I told her my score. Oh, she decided to invite her friend to my place too. That friend too, did well. I felt like I wanted to die in shame.
I remember talking to my best friend on the phone. He did phenomenally well as he was a gifted child (as deemed by the school.) During the call, his mom asked about my score in the background. She was like, “Huh?!” when she found out about my shitty score. I heard everything.
Despite doing so badly, my mom still rewarded me with $50. The deal was that I would get $50 for every ‘A’ I gotten. I got one for English. I refused the money as I knew she and my late dad then were disappointed.
Right after that, I went to my room and cried.
It was because of this major-thing-by-society-that-literally-gave-you-a-score-which-dictates-your-worth that made me feel so fucking dumb and useless.
