I actually feel a little uncomfortable writing this because it’s a close topic to my heart.
Something I’ve struggled with for a long time.
A few hours ago, I alighted the train I was taking home.
While out of the control station, I heard a loud bump beside me.
I turned my head.
I saw a middle-aged lady holding on to a luggage. Next to her was a lady who looked she was in her late twenties.
The bump must have been caused by the collision between the luggage and the younger lady.
It must have been an accident, I thought.
And then suddenly, the middle-aged lady asked her angrily what her problem was.
The younger lady raised her voice and shouted something incoherently, ending with calling her a “bitch.” She didn’t give a fuck. She just walked out of the control station past the gantry.
I was shocked. I wondered why they were so pissed.
The middle-aged lady didn’t let up. She sped up, got past the entry and dashed for the younger one.
I was uneasy. I wondered if they were going to throw down.
Thankfully, the younger lady made a turn and went down an escalator. The middle-aged one went on her way.
And that was that.
I’ve got to say man: Even though nothing overly dramatic happened, it wasn’t something nice to see.
Call me oversensitive, but I could already feel the adrenaline in the air.
This particular incident was very personal to me because I can’t deny that I’ve spent a large part of my life ruminating over all sorts of revenge fantasies in my head.
I think of beating people up. I think of screaming. I think of saying mean things and so on.
None of this shit has ever come into fruition.
It’s an ironic type of relief, but I can safely say that when a situation gets heated up, I am always usually calm and end up doing the right thing.
Heck, the above story has nothing to do with me at all, but I already felt uncomfortable being near them.
My train of thought didn’t snowball like my ruminations, for common sense and a yearn for peace took over. I could only think:
“Wow, they look angry and ugly as hell. I don’t want to look like that and scare away my loved ones.”
“I absolutely do not want to be caught looking like that in public.”
“Staying calm, walking away and working for the greater good is definitely the works of the bigger person.”
“This is definitely not a good feeling. Nothing good can come from it.”
“Thank goodness I’ve never lashed out and got into major trouble before.”
It then hit me: There is a temptation for glory in our heads and in our mouths.
When one is angry, we ruminate and think of all sorts of crazy shit in our heads.
When one is angry, the ego takes control as we regale stories of revenge to others.
When one is angry, we write the ending ourselves for our stories and usually, we win the fight; the argument; the ridiculous drama where there is no real prize.
It’s this temptation that fucks us up emotionally.
And it will never end or even become reality because…
… life isn’t that bad… you know?
Perhaps we should just look around or at what’s in front of us today.
Truly, if you’re lucky enough to be reading this article on your computer or on your mobile phone, I dare say that you already lead a good life.
And I am pretty sure that you’re sensible enough to not do stupid shit, cross the line and get in trouble.
If you do not have the courage to cross the line, it’s very unlikely that you have the courage to come back.
This is how lucky you are today. This is how safe you are today.
Cut the need for this temptation and be grateful for what you have.
Should shit happen to you one day, stay calm, know that common sense is with you and that the bigger person will find peace faster. I know not what the ladies were thinking, but if things escalated, it would have gotten ugly for sure.
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