This is real shit here. These are truth bombs people need to know. There is art in disobeying your mom. Yes, your mom. Your own mother. The only one in the world who supposedly loves you unconditionally. The one in the world who gives a shit about you the most.
Yet, you gotta disobey her.
My own personal release
It took me 30 years of my life to realize that obeying my mom wholeheartedly would only result in the same thing: Getting nagged at and being faulted on some random shit.
Eventually, I stopped trying anymore. Be it getting a new tattoo or getting my own dinner, a fault will be found.
It hit me like, “It doesn’t matter what I do. For whatever serious it seems, I am somehow wrong anyway.”
So I fucked it. I started to do what I want.
I can say for sure today that I am a lot happier and my relationship with my mom is a lot better.
Again, it’s an art, a very subtle one. Read on to see how it all comes together.
You’re not mommy’s little person anymore
If you’re a grown adult, you’re not her little person anymore.
You’re only your own person and it’s time to make decisions, especially the ones that scare the shit out of you on your own.
Your mom may have held you inside for 9 months and then held your hand for many years after you got out, but she can’t do it forever. Both you and your mom need to realize that.
You can’t be a baby forever.
You can’t fully obey someone even though there is so much love between you two
You can’t fully obey her even though you love her with all your heart.
Because arguably, like in any romantic relationship, love isn’t enough.
For a relationship or a person to grow, you need more than that. You need pretty much every contrived element in the world of self-help to push yourself forward. Or in more blunt terms, you need to live your own damn life and follow your gut, especially when it comes to dealing with the opposite of love.
That said, the challenges you get from the assholes you meet or people you grow hate for will help you grow a lot and its lessons may even exceed the ones derived from love itself.
Your mom will be wrong many times over even though she loves you
Because again, love is not enough. Or to put it another way, love is blind, so blind that people can’t see that the option of love actually means letting someone go. Your mom loves you so much that she is just doing it wrong then.
An overabundance of love from your mom doesn’t mean she may know you well enough. This applies to anybody who is on your side. Furthermore, too much love is usually accompanied with overprotectiveness and fear.
So who do you rely on then? The answer is yourself.
Your mom is from a different generation and a different time
What worked for her as a kid will not apply to you.
You’re going to have to realize this yourself and live according to what’s around you instead. Again, you aren’t mommy’s little person anymore. For whatever advice she gives you, you need to tweak it to see if it fits your model today.
Your mom isn’t going to die if you disobey her
It’s not the end of the world if you disobey her. It’s not like she’s going to die or disappear. It’s not like you’re going to suffer bad karma and have bad things happen to you in the future just because you disobeyed her. In fact, the opposite may be true instead.
At the very most, she may just get extremely dramatic and a small fallout may happen. Hopefully, it wouldn’t last long. If it does or that it always happens, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and start being honest with the fact that your mom is toxic as shit. You can’t be unhappy all the time just because someone else has a problem with you being happy in your own, special way.
Your mom may not even love you
Everything I said so far only applies to people who are lucky.
The unlucky ones have moms who don’t love them at all. Blood isn’t thicker than water for some glasses. Some family are just not capable of love because they’ve their own shit to deal with or that they’re just too selfish to care at all.
If you experience a high amount of toxicity from your own mom, it’s time to seriously let go and move the fuck on i.e. far away from her. You need to wake up and snap out of it even though she’s family. So don’t be blinded by the love that isn’t even there in the first place.
Put it all together nicely and live your own life without being rude
Mix all these ideas together. Realize that some of them are facts to you.
Then realize that you can be your own person without being rude about it.
Yes, you can disobey your mom without being a dick to her. You can be polite, but firm. You can say your piece without any drama. You can do what you want in ways without having to hurt her all the time and even if you do, as said, it’s not the end of the world.
It’s an art.
You put it all together nicely.
You disobey and then obey, all in good timing, all without unnecessary willingness to hurt.
You live according to your own rules because it’s your life.
Your mom is probably trying her best to this very day
I’ll end off with a powerful idea I got from someone:
“There is no perfect parenting book titled, ‘How to raise [your name].’”
In order to raise you, you need to do it yourself. That’s your job.
Hopefully, your mom is on your side.
If not, it’s okay too.
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