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The Shittiest God In The Universe

Alden Tan
2 min readAug 11, 2022

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Forgot about us.

He created us, like some many years ago.

He was totally hyped about it at first, telling his fellow god friends about us. They’d politely nod their heads in acknowledgement, but that was all.

“At least he has something to do now” one would say.

He painstakingly made the lands, seas, skies and natural laws so they’d all come together for us humans to live in.

He was proud of us.

He even dropped hints of his own existence so we could find him. This wasn’t even an ego thing. He was being playful. He just really wanted us to work hard (while having fun) to find him so we could all be eventually united in some friendly way.

Then he got lazy.

What made him lazy? Nobody knows for certain. But the philosophers of the world surmised that it had something to do with the question, “What happens to us when we die?”

The philosophers think that answering this question had too many implications and consequences, especially when it comes to finding out where to send us next; especially when it comes to knowing which other god we were to meet next.

Because in that laziness comes some selfishness, for our god loved us too much.

I guess love does crazy things to people and gods.

And so our god slapped on three fail safes on us: Freewill, reincarnation and absolutely zero…

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