Straight Guy Confession: Why I Prefer To Hang Out With Gay People Sometimes
An old article I wrote a long time ago when I was motivated to write more honest, meaningful and longer articles. To be honest, it’s a little uncomfortable to revisit this. Not because of the subject of gay people itself, but more so as a writer and seeing how I was like back then.
Nonetheless, here it is again, because I mean every word of it.
I was having a conversation with a gay friend of mine sometime back. What I said surprised him.
I told him that I was very okay with a gay guy hitting on me. I told him about the time I followed some friends to a gay bar and there was this older, gay dude hitting on me. He was literally feeling me up. Not all over. No vital parts, but definitely considered too close for comfort to most.
And I was cool with that.
Then I said that I would however, be extremely weirded out if a straight dude did the same to me for whatever reason. Maybe he lost a bet, was drunk, just horsing around or that he thought it was a dismissable act of bromance.
This shocked my friend. He said most straight guys wouldn’t feel the same and that I had a high tolerance for gay people.
I understand. Conventionally, if a person is homophobic, he is homophobic. Being somebody who lacks empathy aside, he simply cannot tolerate the idea of another male getting too close to him, especially if it’s physical.
But this is how I see it:
If a gay person fancies me, hits on me and even gets physically close, I take it as flattery. I take it as you think I’m good looking, I’m hot and that I’ve an awesome personality that appeals to both guys and girls.
And any kind of attention of flattery. Straight or gay.
Even if somebody you hate gives you attention by annoying you, it’s still flattery as he sees the need to take out his insecurities on you. That means to say, they look up to you. As hard as this is to swallow, it’s true. Every attack is a cry for help.
Also, if a gay guy hits on me, I take it as you behaving normal and I respect that.
If however, a straight guy acts gay, or carries out typically gay actions around and, or on me, it is not normal and it’s weird.
I repeat. When your own friends aren’t themselves for whatever reason, it is weird. Nothing more, nothing less.
Even if it’s a joke, the weirdness is highly amplified because it is out of character and what more, if he is homophobic in the first place. Believe it or not, some straight dudes’ idea of horsing around cross some comfortable boundaries. I have a straight friend who told me before he and friends jacked off in front of each other before in a shower as a form of competition. They said it was funny. They’re all straight. Maybe it’s just a difference in culture and upbringing, but this how some straight guys have fun.
But relax, this isn’t a serious issue, so to speak.
I’m not talking about bromance in the locker room or war veterans who say they love each other. I’m referring more to typical guys who like hang out at bars or clubs and then act re: weird.
And it is these same guys who are always complaining they can’t get a girl; always gossiping and bitching about everything; are homophobic; and then call guys like me the weird one instead.
So why do I prefer to hang out with gay people?
Here we go. I apologize in advance if I go overboard with some stereotypes.
There’s too much testosterone in a room filled with straight dudes
Not in the scientific sense of course.
This is when straight guys are always talking about girls, referring to them as pussies and thinking that life is all about getting laid, which is super ironic because these guys can’t get girls for shit.
And then they call these girls bitches, sluts or whores because they got rejected.
So as such, with more testosterone in the room, the amount of sensitivity and respect for people diminishes. It can be pretty depressing to be in earshot of hypocritical, selfish conversations where a reasonable point of view and a third-party perspective never see the light of the day.
Gay friends listen
They listen. They listen to what you have to say, especially if you’re in need of help. They’re more sensitive to your plight and are willing to give an objective point of view.
I’m not ever afraid to talk to my gay friends about deep, personal issues I have because I know they won’t judge me. I don’t talk about them to most straight friends because even a curt reply like “Lol” annoys me. Or more commonly, I am just dismissed to be petty.
Yes. I’m sensitive too. Straight people can be sensitive. Take note of this.
I don’t give a fuck about cars, football or suits
Ahh, the supposed benchmark of straight masculinity and ideal topics for conversations among straight guys.
In my humble opinion, I don’t see a point in talking about things you can never get. It’s plain ignorant and lazy to constantly talk about something you don’t ever want to work for.
Why admire how sleek a car is when you aren’t working your ass off to get it? Why talk about football and criticize league players when you’re a fat fuck who can’t even climb to the second floor? Why talk about suits when, oh wait, are we only talking about how cool Harvey is in Suits and you wish to be like him because you’re still trying to get laid?
Gay people know how to have more fun
Go to a gay bar and you’ll know.
So what’s the big deal?
Perhaps this little rant is my way of representing the “third” voice of sorts: Straight guys who are sensitive and are totally cool with being close with gay guys.
But this is not about us. It never was.
It is and will always be about acceptance for the LGBT community.
It is sad that this is a real issue because it stems from serious allegations. And this article is my way of helping as I speak for the straight, silent guys out there who shun away from the topic.
A call for more acceptance of the LGBT community
Why is it still so hard for gay people to come out to their friends and family? Why are parents kicking out their kids for being gay? Why are people still believing gay is a choice? View this violent reaction.
Add in elements of religion, biology and whatever, we get a mess. It’s all because of mere intolerance.
Straight people who can’t accept gay people, it’s time to grow the fuck up.
The content of one’s character isn’t based on one’s sexuality. Whether they like dick or pussy, their personality is still very human. They being born that way is just them being born to live the life they’re meant to.
You won’t label somebody as “different” if they’re left-handed will you?
Gay is not an epidemic
So I like hanging out with gay people. I even go to gay bars to chill sometimes. (Side note: It’s easier to hit on a girl in a gay bar. If you don’t believe this, then you don’t know shit about approaching women.)
Does that make me gay? Obviously not, but I can see your little smirk. I can see that shocked look on your face as if I caught some disease.
Thus, the bad idea of gay being an epidemic stretches far and wide to everyone, gay people even.
The unfortunately silent straight guy movement
It comes down to this. I don’t think anyone talks about this openly enough. It has two sides to it.
There’re indeed a ton of straight guys out there who are evolving and yearning towards “gay behavior”, so to speak.
You can call them the new age sensitive guy, metrosexual, cool guy, a new masculinity or whatever. We’re evolving. Here’s an article on straight men enjoying anal stimulation. I can’t say I have any experience in that, but I love taking a good shit myself.
The only sad part is they’re pretty quiet as it is.
Some of these guys are still a little embarrassed to show that they’re sensitive or like to hang out with gay friends, so much so they over compensate in other areas.
But rest assured, they are around and they’re totally in support of gay people and their lifestyle. In fact, I dare say these guys even yearn for a male friend who can comfort them.
On the flip side, there’re also straight guys who’re silently homophobic. They just don’t want to say it. They may be tolerant, but they cannot accept just yet.
I know of friends, as good people as they are who have blurted out, “I’m actually homophobic.” Ask them why and they’re like, “Erm.. I don’t know. It’s just weird you know?” And that is pretty fucking sad, especially since they’re unknowingly trying so hard to be like gay people in so many ways.
Example? Some of the gay guys I’ve seen, as they’re very fond of their own looks, work out a lot and have solid bodies. The silent and intolerant straight guys want the same so badly. How ironic that they think that they’ve the right to talk shit and criticize.
They may not be jumping gay people to beat them up or kicking them out of their houses, but the fact that this idea is in their head is kind of bad as it is.
This is why they come up with weak jokes and actually have to ask questions when I say I like to hang out with gay people.
We’re all not so different
Gay, bi, straight, transgender, vegetarian. Whatever.
We’re all little insecure creatures. That is the key similarity in everyone. We all have our own confessions. It’s time we stop hiding them.
The intolerant ones need thorough education. The silent and sensitive dudes need a little nudge.
Voices for more acceptance of the LGBT is already on the rise. That’s cool. But what would be more cool if well, more straight dudes like me are willing to be more open.
No more weak jokes, no more awkward laughter, no more open-mouth, wide-eyed expressions and no more labels.
Just open confessions. That’s cool.
And it’ll be beautiful.
Photos taken from Buzzfeed