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Processes And Processing

Alden Tan
2 min readNov 12, 2018

It’s easy to say, “Get over it.”

It’s easy to say, “Time heals all wounds.”

It’s easy to say, “Just be yourself.”

The problem is, these are the words that work as the final process when it comes to moving on from something.

They skip the processes in between.

You know what would be hard to say?

Something like, “I hated my father. But now he’s gone. I can’t talk to him anymore. I never had the chance to tell him how I felt about him. I cry every night. I even take to booze to escape the pain. Yet, why is there pain when I hated him? Why is this so confusing? What am I suppose to feel?”

It’s tough, but it’s a necessary process.

How are you processing your feelings today? How are you processing the thoughts in your head when it comes to uncomfortable situations? Are you listening to yourself or others?

Don’t skip the processes. Process things naturally. Face the discomfort even though it’s scary as hell.

If you think about it, one does not skip the stages of grief after experiencing the death of a loved one. To do so would only mean they’d manifest themselves in scarier ways later in life.

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