Originally answered on Quora here. I think many people today have difficulty with trust. They don’t know how to get people to trust you. Let’s tackle this question!
I was once close with a guy who turned out to be one of the biggest losers and cowards in the world.
He was truly an insecure person who would try very hard to be liked on the outside.
Outside, mind you. Inside meant fuck-all to him as he manipulated the people around him.
Why, he’d carry out pathetic nonsense like reading up on the World Cup when the season was here just so he could fit in with his sporty friends. He did not play soccer at all. He just felt that he should get people to trust you by any means necessary. Truly, it’s one thing to be sociable. It’s another to be fake.
Eventually, we all had a big falling out with him.
That’s the thing: There is honestly no quickest way to get people to trust you.
It’s not about speed man. Speed means shoddy work, shadiness and manipulation.
You don’t want that. You don’t want to get people to trust you that way.
What you want is fulfilling, long-term relationships that’d last you for a life time, knowing that they’d have your back anytime.
And it really doesn’t have to be that hard.
- If you fuck up, man up and apologize. That’s it. Don’t try to cover it up. It’s a major turn off. Only kids refuse to accept responsibility. People will respect you for this.
- Don’t lie. It is as simple as that. I don’t know why some people can’t wrap their head around this.
- Follow up. If you say you’d do something, then do it.
- Have manners. Please and Thank You. This sounds obvious, but many people lack it. Sad.
- Don’t tell a bullshit story. Especially one where people can easily call you out on. I don’t know why losers all around need to do this. I mean, why would you tell a story that is a complete lie and even contradicts say, your social media profile? People can easily search you these days.
- Don’t try too hard. Because when you do, people can tell. They’re going to judge the shit out of you then.
- Last but not least, stop trying to please everyone. Let’s flip it around a little shall we? Is the person you want to trust you even somebody you give a fuck about? Do you even like them? Do you even want to be their friend? If not, why do you care? You truly don’t need to please everybody in life. In fact, you can’t. You get to say no. You get to dish out rejection. As said, stop trying so hard! If somebody isn’t to your liking, just walk away.
That’s all I have. Hope this helps. Remember, life is about people. Things change everyday and that includes relationships. The art of how to get people to trust you is always evolving as you live your life.
Take it easy and the people who are meant to be with you will come to you.
Other good reads:
Why You Can’t Trust Yourself by Mark Mason
10 Ways Effective Leaders Build Trust by Psychology Today