Necessary Narcissism

Alden Tan
1 min readOct 16, 2018

There is something called healthy narcissism, a balance between nurturing one’s self-esteem and also cultivating healthy relationships.

But before that, I like to think that there’s something called necessary narcissism, a difficult phase grownups need to go through in order to grow and be happy.

In this phase, you:

  • Reject anything familiar and comfortable.
  • Make unpopular decisions that will upset your friends or family.
  • Hurt others willingly not out of spite, but for growth.
  • Isolate yourself somewhat.
  • Disrespect your elders and seniors.
  • Leave behind old relationships permanently.
  • Be actively selfish, watching out for yourself first and foremost.

The results will be both scary and surprising, but all necessary.

Then you can achieve healthy narcissism.

The underlying message here is simply this: You get to care for yourself.

Count yourself lucky if you’re in a stage where it isn’t so difficult to do so.

Regardless, it’ll be necessary.

I hope you don’t take too long or that it doesn’t take a traumatic event for you to start being necessary for yourself.

Get my Fuck It Poster here!