My first ever post on bullying, even older than the one I did here. Hope it helps!
I always wanted to write this post. It’s about time I did.
Bullying is an extremely fucked up issue that is still ongoing. It’s amazing how such stupidity still exists in this world.
I keep reading about news on victims of bullying and how it drove them to suicide. It’s mostly about kids in school. And then the brave ones would actually stand up for themselves via a video on YouTube. Here are a few examples:
Now, I wasn’t exactly a victim of bullying myself, at least not to such dire proportions.
Here’s something that may shock you: I was a kind of a bully myself back then.
Yep. Not cool at all obviously.
I was an ass. What started out as a simple, consistent form of teasing elevated to misguided superiority over someone which only served to reflect how insecure I was as a person, student and a friend. As a result, I bullied a person who didn’t deserve it.
It’s just amazing now, as I look back and reflect. I was a major douche who deserved… well some of the bad shit in my life now.
We’re all good now, me and that guy. We’re friends now. It somehow just blew over the years as we all grew up and mellowed out.
Now… isn’t that the problem with it all?
The problem with Bullying today
Is that we think the whole issue, with every case would “blow over” and hence we let people mellow it out on its own through time.
Victim or bully, doesn’t matter. We let.
Grown ups today, who are bullied, be it low-ranking staff or spouses, are also suffering from the same thing.
There is pain. There is no love. There is no support.
Now seriously, how many victims actually feel like they are strong enough to handle it all on their own?
What we need to do about bullying
We need to make a stand.
We a need a revolution of the mind, of our consciousness so that collectively, we all look down upon it, and eventually let bullying cease to exist altogether.
It’s cheesy and clichéd to say, “It first starts with us”, but yeah, it’s true.
Here’s how, but before that, here’s a video to relax first. Absorb all the shit above. I love this video. It’s funny and true. Watch, and listen carefully.
1) Recognize that bullies are suffering
Yes they are. You probably can’t appreciate or respect that, but it’s very very true. This is your first revolution.
Remember this now and forever, “Every attack is a cry for help”.
It’s only when you’re suffering and feeling all that pain inside that you see a need to take it out on others.
Go think about it. Remember all those times you were all pissed, sad and shit and what actions you took after.
So if you feel like you’re being bullied, remember this, they don’t win.
They never had and never will.
They don’t win just because they seem popular in school and start giving you shit for being different.
They don’t win just because your crazy boss is screaming at you and giving you more work.
They don’t “get away with it” just because they left you with that pain. And it becomes a vicious cycle for them as they don’t even know what to do.
Bullies are probably crying themselves to sleep every night.
2) Be happy you’re loved
That’s why you aren’t attacking others.
You don’t see a need to cause your parents and friends love you.
Don’t let a single bully take that away and make you feel that you don’t have any of that.
All that being said, just because you don’t “attack” or shit on others doesn’t mean you’re weak. It’s not like you have no balls or lack courage. You just have love.
I was wondering about this myself, like why I always let others walk over me. I was pissed with myself for a long time until I realized I had love, and I was blinded to it for a bit.
3) Fight back
Yeah you have to.
I’m not saying get into a physical fight in drastic proportions, but at least stand up for yourself.
Why should you fight back?
Because bullies are so insecure that they have it in their heads they’d have an easy win on victims. And it’d continue if you don’t fight back.
When you fight back (by talking back at least), bullies would cower down cause… they wouldn’t know what to do!
The main problem here is that we have a bunch of ideas that we absolutely should “let it go”, “turn a blind eye”, “just let it slide” or whatever, calling these the “best” solutions when it dangerously puts you into repression.
Your voice drowns. Obviously one would feel victimized.
Do yourself a favour… just fight back and stand up for yourself once. Otherwise it’s just going to continue.
Then walk away, let it go and go home. It’s all good. You’re loved.
4) It gets better
Dan Savage, one of the writers I like tells you it gets better as you grow up. He was bullied for being gay.
Yeah it gets better. Not only do you mellow out, but life ahead is good.
Picture this bizarre idea: You may be friends with your bully next time.
I know it’s hard now and you’re feeling all sorts of shit you don’t understand from within, but if you’d just have a little faith, life will be better.
I’m amazed at the different things in my life now, things I never thought possible 5 years ago.
Your life isn’t about the shit you’re going through now. You’ve great things ahead.
Eventually, all of us are going to have to grow up.
How you live your life and how great you want it to be are based on the actions you take.
Be it bully or victim, use the caution of love. The following took place as I was writing this:
Notice the words of my friend.
On some level, that’s how you “mellow out” and simply let time take its course.
But… seriously, get some shit done. Fuck bullying. You have power to control how you want to live.
So fuck it, stand up and move on.