Maybe it’s time to change Self-help into Please-Help-Me?

In my last six years of blogging in the self-help niche, I’ve tried to connect with a bunch of other self-help bloggers.

Some of them call themselves life coaches. Some gurus. Some experts. Some yogis. Some whatever.

At first I found them inspiring. I thought they had their shit together.

And then slowly, I started to find all of them to be nothing but ridiculous.

One supposed life coach told me that ever since he started meditating, he never again, felt anger in his life.

I half suspect that he’s a robot.

Another one told me that due to my style of writing, I will never be able to hit success because invoke too much supposed anger, negativity and most of all, didn’t portray an image of positivity.

I half suspect that he was a chronic liar who was trying too hard in life to please everyone.

That’s the thing about the self-help world: People are arrogant.

People want to come across as something to the masses to show that they’re ready to help or if you would, to look like they’re better than everyone else.


To create a business. To make money. To lie. To deny who they really are in order to “help.”

Is this really helping? I personally don’t think so.

It waylays the average person into thinking that he or she absolutely needs to be like them in order to feel that they aren’t wrong.

It makes them fork out their own money to buy products they think they need when in actual fact, they were manipulated into doing so purely by sales tactics.

It makes them think that self-help can replace real, actual therapy based on science and psychology.

It makes them think that they aren’t good enough.

Maybe it’s time to change Self-help into Please-Help-Me?

We need honest voices.

We need more stories of flawed personalities that show the writer is also human, and no, I am not just referring to the atypical rag-to-riches stories. Those are already cliched.

We need inspiration, but not in a way that claims that it’s be-all and end-all.

We need help, but not ones that are ridiculously expensive.

We need people who are honestly not full of shit and constantly supersede the obvious. E.g. If you claim to love helping people so much, why are you so obsessed with making a business out of it and not doing voluntary work?

We need people to feel that they’re good enough.

Nobody is perfect, not even the ones who claim they got their shit together; not even the rich ones; not even the famous ones.

Who’s with me?

Get my free book here: 12 Things Happy People don’t Give a Fuck About!




Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Alden Tan

Alden Tan

More from Medium

Lord Bless Our Week — 5/09: Our Feelings Are Just What They Are — Feelings

Beating odds to feel motivated

Will I know the truth of this relationship? Or do I already know?

From hostility to friendliness