Member-only story
It is with a tinge of sadness and tons of thoughts on my mind now that I type this to you.
The last couple of emails I sent were regarding my grandma being admitted in the hospital due to a fall she had. After being in a coma for 6 days, she peacefully passed away around midnight on the first day of Lunar New Year.
One could say it was the fall that caused her death. One could say it was the fainting spell she had and hence it was coming because of her old age of 85.
One could say many things. I know I want to. Here are all my thoughts laid out:
. My biggest concern in this period would be for my mom. My heart sank when I saw her speak into my grandma’s ear during the coma, telling her it was time to wake up and go home. My heart broke after my grandma passed on and I saw my mom cry, saying, “You’ve gone” in hokkien.
. But my mom is strong. It’ll be painful, but she is not self-destructive. She has after all, seen my dad go, her own dad go and now her mom. It is unfair if you think about it. It is honestly hence one of my biggest fears that me or my brother dies first before. She does not deserve to see her family go like that systematically.
. My mom is so strong. It makes me feel bad for the times I was just annoyed with her for stupid, petty shit.
. I guess we all knew my grandma had to go before us, but one is never prepared for the death of a loved one. No one ever is.
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