This was one of my smaller, but perhaps more real articles before the reset. It essentially tackles the controversial question that is, how to judge people.
Think this is not important? It is. Read on.
Everyone’s like, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” because it’s wrong.
It’s basically wrong to make preconceived notions about something or someone because well, there’s usually a lot to understand on a deeper level.
And more often than not, it’s YOUR loss if you make judgements. You’d supposedly lose out as you don’t get to discover the hearts of gold in people.
Well, I say that’s bullshit because all of us judge all the time. It’s only human nature to always make snap judgements.
The key idea is to make sure you judge the correct way; the key is to make sure you know how to judge people correctly.
I personally judge all the time man.
Why? For starters I know I’m only human and I can’t stop the gears moving in my head and in turn, my reaction to people just happen.
I also do it to protect myself so I don’t waste time on the wrong people, the kind who are out there to make use of me; the kind who even appear nice to take advantage of me.
Let’s get to it! This is gonna be fast and awesome
1) Check how he or she treats customer service staff
This is one of my favourite quotes ever.
Yep, straight up. Whoever treats customer service staff, be it the waiter, the cashier, the agent on the phone or the chef badly, are just complete assholes.
I don’t know why, but some people seem to have in their heads that just because they pay a premium at a place, they have the right to be rude to the staff.
“The customer is always right” must be the dumbest line ever. If you’re working right now and your boss enforces that rule to the point of not watching out for your well being, just fucking quit right now. There’s a fine line between giving in for excellent service and being submissive to undeserving jerks.
All that aside, if you ask me, we’re all equals, working or not. Sure, as a paying customer, you expect to get what you want. You deserve that. But that never ever means you’re better than the staff in any humanly, possible way. You need to learn how to talk to people nicely.
I’ve met people who are really nice and cool to me, but act like kings who condescend on staff. Not cool all then!
If you meet someone like that, he’s an asshole and she’s a bitch. Ditch them. You deserve humble friends who don’t use money to rise up and certainly not people who base friendship on monetary worth.
2) Don’t judge people for their past mistakes. Judge them on how they recover from their mistakes
Ever met people who screw up and they’re extremely quick to justify their actions?
They don’t apologize.
They make up excuses, “I was drunk. I don’t remember shit. It doesn’t count.” (And then continue to get drunk again.)
They try to turn the tables, “What about you? Remember the time you blah blah blah?”
Hell they won’t even fucking dare to look you in the eye.
This is straight up disgusting.
Anyway, don’t judge people base on the mistakes they’ve made. Nobody is perfect. To judge them on what they’ve done wrong in life is kind of hypocritical. If you get so offended by everybody’s screw ups, then you’re pretty much not going to make many friends.
Instead, look at how they try to recover, learn, grow and become a better person altogether. That’s real maturity right there and you know they’re good people who strive to be better people in life.
I’ve personally fallen out with friends who turned out to be major disappointments. None of them ever bothered to do some reflection, but instead kept justifying their crap. I also made the mistake of justifying for them too much, “They’re my friends”, “I can let it go.”
It only resulted in me falling out with them for I’ve realized that they were nothing but cowards.
It’s certainly up to you to how much you want to tolerate people’s crap, but use this idea and save yourself from vast amounts of negative energy. You deserve better.
3) If someone borrows money from you constantly
For whatever purpose. If they don’t return. If they take forever to return.
It’s time to fuck off.
4) Check their “reputation”
Ever met someone who is really awesome to you?
You think he’s cool as according to him, he get you in the clubs for free and introduce you to a bunch of hot girls.
You think she’s such a nice person as she’s so polite, cute and even complimented you.
And then BAM! You’ve like 10 other people telling you all sorts of shit about them.
“He’s a free loader! He never pays for his drinks!”
“She’s psycho man. She must have had slept with 10 guys in the last month.”
Gossip and hearsay like this never ends if you want to go down the rabbit hole. Judgement will be widespread everywhere and there’s no point trying to figure out who’s telling the truth.
I think it’s important to actually listen to what others have to say despite how you feel about that person. I mean… if you’ve 10 people saying the same shit about someone, your bullshit alarm would surely go off the hook. You’ve got to listen before you get trapped and be taken advantage of (that’s when the person starts to ask you for favours.)
In this case, push back how you feel about that person. Just open up and listen a little to others. If too much is being said by too many people, it’s most likely right.
If anything, do yourself a favour and keep a healthy distance. You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend.
5) Never ever judge on looks
Don’t even bother.
We’re attracted to beauty, sure, but don’t let it get in the way of how you feel about someone.
Everyone has a different opinion.
Take for example: I get people who’re like, “She works as a model. She therefore must be a bitch and only goes for rich guys. I’d rather settle for a plain Jane.”
And I’m like… What? Even plain Janes can be really horrible people too!
See how I twisted it there? There’re two kinds of people and they can be very much alike sometimes.
Yeah. Let’s get a little cynical here.
The content of one’s character is never base on how he or she looks. The looks are just an added bonus.
An attractive person can be really nice or snobbish.
An unattractive person can be nice as he or she accepts who she is and appreciates inner beauty more. Or they could be so insecure they take it out on others.
See how it’s completely interchangeable?
The idea of, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is usually base on how they the book can be really good and it’s our loss if we judge.
How about considering the fact that the book can be totally shitty instead?
Bottom line here is to never judge at all base on looks. It’s a waste of time. Watch out for yourself.
6) Don’t make friends. Have friends made for you instead
Recognize how someone makes you feel despite whatever that’s going on around them.
Follow your feelings all the way. Don’t think at all.
The rest will take care itself.
Life’s too short to hang out with assholes. Stop wasting your time on the wrong people.
Use judgement wisely and learn how to judge people with real skill today.
A good read: How We judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves by Mark Manson.
Why Is It Impossible To Not Judge People by Psychology Today