Oxygen is free, just like how making friends is too.
Yet, the air can grow foul.
Of late, I’ve been thinking about how close I actually should be to some of my friends I always deemed close.
Because there’re subtle elements of toxicity which I feel, at our age shouldn’t be around.
There’s shit talking.
There’s gossip behind each others’ back.
There’re facades donned for arrogant reasons.
And there’re too many dumb excuses used to weakly justify them all.
This is when my friends tell me, “Oh he’s like that.”
“Oh we always knew him to be like that.”
“Oh it’s annoying, but ultimately harmless.”
It bothers me because it has been a thorn etched into my body for a long time now and I truly wonder when I may just rip it off, go berserk and lash out at these friends.
Comparatively, I’ve friends who I truly look up to and feel completely at peace when I am with them.
I can tell them anything I want without a fear of being judged, laughed at or condescended upon.
Even when they get real with me and want to give it to me hard, they do it tactfully and I know that they mean well.
These are people I know I can trust and rely on for the rest of my lives.
Yet, at the same time, should I nitpick and be bothered by every subtle elements of toxicity, I may just be isolating myself and casting aside the actual good in these friends, because as said, they’re ultimately harmless.
Nobody is perfect after all.
But when a relationship or friendship isn’t perfect, I find that we make so many excuses that we deny that we are actually unhappy.
And it’s ironic as hell because it’s only your surroundings passing you the unhappiness.
What do you all think?