I don’t even know where to start here.
Infidelity is so common today that it amazes me that it has pretty much become an accepted culture of sorts.
This is such a deep topic with so many different layers of understanding or rather, justification.
Why do you come to me? No, seriously. Why?
Honestly, I don’t know why guys like you like to come to me to talk to me about your problems.
Many have been the times some of you come to me to tell me why you’re so unhappy with her. Many have been the times you guys given me accounts of how flawed and fucked up she is.
Only for me to find out later on that you went to a club last night and hooked up with another girl. Only for me to find out later on you went to pay for a hooker.
And when I chastise you for it, you start to turn the tables. You remind me of the times I screwed up in my own relationships.
It’s not about me. It’s about you. I don’t even know why you want to compare because you know I don’t do the shit you do.
Is the guilt so bad that you had to start shifting blame to me, the person you actually came to for help in the first place?
Please. Take care of your girlfriends.
Women aren’t objects of desire. They’re not walking bags of sex. Think of how hurt she would be if she finds out what you’ve been screwing around with other girls.
When will the justification ever end?
“Oh I was drunk. It doesn’t count.”
“Oh I was abroad. It’s so far away.”
“Oh it was only a little kiss.”
I’ve heard it all.
Ask any cheater about the things they do. You’ll never be able to find one who’d willingly admit that what they’re doing is wrong.
They’d go all out to form this idea in their head that what they did is okay. Why? My guess is that they want to suppress the guilt or force themselves to forget about it.
Because ironically, they decided that they still love their partner after the dirty deed is done.
Justifying something doesn’t mean you’re right.
That said, excuses are also not reasons. You knew one thing would’ve led to another.
If you fucked up, it means you fucked up. Just admit it. Take it. And apologize. That’s it.
Is there a line drawn?
It’s weird how infidelity is actually a really subjective topic.
I know of a couple who ended it when she found out he was texting, only texting another girl.
I know of a couple who tried to make it work when he found out she fucked another dude.
So to people who cheat: What is considered cheating to you? What are your limits? Where do you draw the line?
But, does any of it make it okay though?
Funnily enough, I guess infidelity has evolved along side relationships today, what with people being in casual relationships, open relationships, “friends with benefits”, hooking up with dating apps and all that.
I guess the rest of us shouldn’t judge.
Relationships can be tricky. Emotions go awry and we can never explain them with logic. We feel what we feel and hence do what we do.
But there’s one thing I’d judge though…
How dare you cheat on your marriage?
I’ve written about this before on my own blog.
I’m 30 and not married today. One reason why I don’t ever feel the pressure of wanting to settle down and get married today is because I draw zero inspiration from the married couples around me.
I know of friends who rushed into their marriage and are unhappy today.
They regret what they’ve gotten themselves into.
Alas, some are cheating now.
So, how dare you?
Yes. I dare say that.
How dare you break the sacredness of your marriage?
Do vows mean nothing anymore?
Do the words, “forever” and “death do us part” mean fuck-all to you?
Why would you rush into something that’s supposed to be beautiful?
Why do you cheat thinking that cheating on your husband or wife is the same as cheating on your high school sweetheart?
Why do you do it when you have kids?
I’m not a mind reader. This is your damn problem. And it sickens me.
My reason to why you should never cheat at all
You know what? I get it.
Relationships are tricky. Emotions can overwhelm. You feel what you feel.
People do make mistakes and sometimes, we don’t deserve a death sentence for it. We need to find a way to forgive.
I’ve been cheated on before. I’ve also cheated back. It was all in my twenties and I went through the emotional process during the fallout.
Here’s the deal: When it comes to cheating, it’s a never-ending road if you choose to talk about it.
At the end of the day, it’s still wrong.
Don’t cheat for the sake of your parents.
As kids, we all grew up not knowing anything. We believed our parents to be in love and have this idea that it’s all black and white. We only learn of the grey areas after we grow up.
Your parents love you and want the best for you. Remember that. Stick to that and pass it on.
Don’t cheat for the sake of kids today.
Our world today is getting too smart for its own good. People always try to use knowledge to get their way. But this is love.
Please, let it be pure and simple. Let the younger generation today know that love is alive and well.
At the end of the day, cheating is wrong.
Keep it clean. If you’re really unhappy in a relationship, end it first before you do something.
That’s my take. That’s my letter.
If you enjoyed this article, please click on the little green heart below. I’d love you for that AND I wouldn’t cheat on you.
My name is Alden Tan and I’m sick of bullshit in the personal development space thanks to the pretentious people out there. I love writing and I’m also a Bboy.
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