I wrote this a long time ago when I hit 30. Yup. Most would complain about feeling old. But here’s why I don’t feel old, like ever.
So recently I turned 30.
The big three-fucking-O.
Supposedly, I should feel old.
Friends and family alike are teasing me about it. And society has laid upon me rules that dictate that I should carry forth “old” things to match the label. You know, things like getting married, getting a job, progressing in that job, starting a family and basically doing whatever others expect out of me.
But I don’t feel at all. Not a damn bit. I don’t feel any different from when I was 25, or 20 even, except feeling more confident and like a better person as a whole.
It’s easy to feel like an old piece of shit at 30. It’s even easier when you start to follow what others have to say and stop feeling what you want to feel in your own life.
I decided to put a different spin in articles like these. There’re way too many lessons-learnt posts out there.
Here’s 8 reasons why I don’t feel old after leaving my twenties
1) I hang out with like-minded weirdos
And they’re all thirty or older. They’re my best friends in the world.
All of them have unfulfilled dreams and are hustling non-stop. They’re all weird as fuck.
We don’t talk about marriage, since none of us seem to be able to hold onto a relationship anyway. We don’t talk about money that much. We don’t talk about settling down with someone just for the sake of it.
We get together to do drink and do stupid shit from time to time. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still doing the same things as we were a decade ago.
And we love it. We enjoy it. Call us weird, but it’s all good.
When you hang out with like-minded people who don’t judge each other and respect one another for doing what each of you do daily, there’s no way you will feel old.
You’ll instead, feel at home.
So who are your weirdos? Who makes you feel like you can be you? Who inspires you to be better people? Who asks the right questions? Who actually gives a shit about you and accept you for who you are?
With weirdos around you, there’s no time to feel old. Hang out with people with forced standards which they in turn try to force upon you, be prepared to feel old, and stressed out as hell.
2) My dad died when I was twenty
Yes, that’s my big WHY right there. I do what I want everyday in my life because of that.
Now here’s the thing: On the day my dad died, nothing fucking mattered.
The amount of money I had in my bank, the petty bullshit I was worrying about, what people said or thought about me and most of all, the expectations set up up one, all of that became nothing, just like that.
Thus, I know deep down in my heart that doing things expected out of the age number attached to me will all be for nothing if another tragedy were to strike me and my family.
The unpredictability of life isn’t going to care how old or young you are. It’s life. It moves on without you.
That’s not to say I lead a paranoid life. It simply means I keep doing what I want only as I aim to be happy 24/7.
3) I’m physically fit
Oh shiittttttt look at this guy.
Hence, I am energetic. That’s up to 15 hours of Bboying sessions a week and 2–3 workout sessions. I also watch my diet as I take in less carbs.
I’ve heard from tons of people who’re 30 or in their late twenties complaining to no end that they feel physically old as they lack energy, feel tired all the damn time, feel like their bones are creaking or have back problems.
That’s an excuse and you know it.
Your physical fitness, hence energy and even outlook on life is your own responsibility.
Regardless of your age, it’s entirely up to you to stay fit.
No. Work is not a legit excuse. Find that damn time to work out or go for a simple jog.
Busy is also just an excuse. If you really want something, you’ll make the damn time for it.
Not sleeping enough is also not a good reason. Foster better habits already.
So you feel old? It’s probably cause you’re a fat piece of shit who eats too much Doritos or think Big Gulp makes for a daily drink.
And don’t even get me started on people who are younger than me and are already unmotivated to the point of destroying their own health.
If you want to stop feeling old, maybe it’s time you work on your health and fitness for a start then.
4) I’ve absolutely zero inspiration from the married people around me
Ahh marriage. The holy union of a couple.
Supposedly, that’s the benchmark of a good, fruitful life that is telling of a “good” age as you settle upon it for potential happiness for the rest of your life.
Note that the use of the word “settle” has its negative connotations today.
Anyway, the married couples around me are fucked up. The case is always that either one of them has cheated, is cheating or in complete regret of ever getting together.
I once ran into a friend, who’s my age and he told me openly he felt stupid for marrying young.
Obviously, I’m only experiencing a tiny portion of the pie. I’m sure there’re a lot of happily married couples out there with kids and shit.
But nonetheless, it serves to reinforce my beliefs that true love is heavily mixed with circumstances.
Simply put, I don’t feel old when it comes to the subject of love because I’m in no rush. I stick to my standards. I don’t even want any fucking kids now.
Heck, I just got out of a serious relationship this year alone, but I don’t give a shit. I’ve moved on, that means to say the past cannot affect the way I live today. I still stick to my beliefs.
Love should be something fucking amazing as you hit it off with the right person. It shouldn’t be an urgent chore as you try to put on a front with it. If you choose to make it so, then be prepared to feel old once you realize it’s not playing it out like you imagined it to be.
If you however, decide to chill with love and enjoy the romance as you meet people from all around the world, you can stay young forever. How so? By opening up to people, you’re bound to meet tons of people who’d be attracted to you for being you.
Being clear on the idea of love is that powerful when you know what you want. I am single while my friends are mostly together with someone. But being resolved on my ideas of love is why I don’t feel old.
5) I have passion, passion and passion
Yes. I follow my heart. I do what I want everyday.
So let’s just cut to the chase.
Passion makes you feel inspired, high and happy. When you feel these emotions, there’s no reason to feel old. You’ll feel young.
Passion is what identifies you and that is your strongest label. It will trump your job status, the car you have, the amount of money you have or whatever. Get that passion and be identified that way. I’m Alden Tan, the Bboy Writer who just turned 30. That is all. Everybody knows me for that. Old is not in my vocabulary here and neither does anyone find it necessary to be so.
Passion is what makes sense of the world too. The more you love it and indulge in it, you will see that it will seep into your everyday life and hence, it is not a mere hobby or interest you partake in from time to time. Coupled with the aforementioned identity attached to you, you will create and grow your own outlook on life.
And it will be a good, vibrant one since you’re happy all the way.
6) It is my privilege to take up the mantle of maturity
I know this post has been sounding like a cliched bundle where I talk about chugging age aside just so you can live life to the fullest and be happy.
So let’s take it down a notch. This is one of my biggest reasons to why I don’t feel old.
Yes, I’m growing everyday and I will not be getting any younger.
But, I don’t feel old, because I gladly take up being mature and be the responsible adult that I am.
I may be passionate and all that, but you don’t see me leading a starving-artist life where I am broke and struggling forever.
I may not have kids, but I try to instil values in my many nieces and nephews as I take care of them when I have to. If you catch me saying shit like, “Oh they aren’t my kids. Fuck them”, then that is not a good reflection of my character. I’d only come across as a whiny, insecure, spoilt bratwho cares nothing about guiding the young.
And I try to always be a good son.
It’s merely maturity and responsibility.
These are your fucking privileges. Stop whining and bitching about how old you are already. I find it sad that people don’t act their age, especially when they’ve responsibilities.
You’re not old. You’re older. Take pride in that. Lead the young. Inspire people with your unique stories.
Do all of that and you’ll be glad to be living the age you have.
7) The graceful indulgence of my childish side
I don’t think anyone at home knows this, but I love taking a shit in my mom’s bathroom. I do it almost everyday since I’m the only one at home alone in the day. Once, I accidentally clogged the toilet and my mom still doesn’t know it was because of me.
Sometimes, I randomly text and bother my friends with incredibly lame jokes.
On my birthday this year, I got drunk with my weirdos. Yes, I celebrated. None of that “Oh it’s just another normal day” bullshit.
Last week, I was in Bangkok. One morning I forgot to brush my teeth and my friend was like, “You smell of alcohol dude” in the hotel lobby. I was like, “Oh really?”, laughed it off and went to eat breakfast.
You see how that works?
I am too busy having fun!
Way too many people are so caught up in life that they forget how to have fun. No wonder they feel old.
If you’re reading this article and thinking like, “Alden is so immature. What’s so cool about taking a shit in his mom’s toilet?”
Buddy. Man. You need to take life less seriously.
8) I know exactly what I want in life
One of the many dreams of being a writer is to get one of my stories produced into a movie (Jake Gyllenhaal please!) or TV series. This by the way, is being worked on as I write this. No time to give up now!
One of the goals I have as a Bboy is to create movements and have my own identity on the dance floor.. I’ve a long way to go, which is okay because I enjoy being a consistent student of the dance. I also know which interntional Bboy I want to meet next.
I’m extremely happy with the close friends i.e. weirdos I keep in my life now. I thus don’t see a need to make more friends. I don’t get all awkward and shit when I meet new people. I don’t even have to think twice about the people I’ve fallen out with.
Having just broken up, I hope to meet more women in the future and possibly travel the world.
Finally, I’m highly introverted. My amount of alone-time and interacting with others outside is perfectly balanced by me.
With plans written out like that in such detail, I’ve many things to look forward to in life.
Do you have the same? Can you even do the same? Can you articulate what you want in life?
If you can’t, do it then. Stop feeling so lost in life. Lost is when you’re wondering what you’re doing in life while letting time go by you, in a fucking snap.
Life is way too short to feel old, much less yammering about feeling old.
You’ve lived up to a nice, non-old age, so give a fuck, and tell your story to inspire others.
This is why I don’t feel old. How do you feel about yourself today?