11 Signs You’re Hanging Out With A Fake Friend

Okay I think this is a serious issue. Fake friends are always out there and they’re detrimental towards your environment and well-being.

Fake friends are not real, meaning they don’t give a fuck about you or their friendship with you. They’ll make use of you and annoy the hell out of you.

Two things will happen when you hang out with fake friends:

The first is that you guys will eventually not have a friendship at all because you’re either sick of his shit or he’d disappear with your shit.

The second is that the fake person grows up and changes for the better, which by then is honestly probably not worth it at all because you’d have suffered years of his bullshit.

I’ve had fake friends before and whenever I look back, I wonder why I put up with so much nonsense especially since they were nothing but pathetic losers.

Check the 11 signs. Take note and start doing something about it.


1) The fake friend always uses specific, choice words to make you feel good for no real reason.

And it’s all nothing but flowery bullshit especially since a normal human would use simple words.

“I couldn’t have done it without you” comes to mind. A friend told me this once. Done what? Something super easy and mundane. Don’t fall for this bullshit.

Another one would be, “I actually considered you for the role”. Noticed how talk is created after all is already actually said and done. Hence, notice how talk is cheap?

The fake friend exploits this. He knows that words are easy to make and can be used to manipulate unassuming people.

2) The morning after the fake friend gets seriously drunk, he’d remember the things that went his way. He will conveniently not be able to remember the annoying shit he does

A friend and I experimented with this when we were younger.

We didn’t bother sending a drunk friend home once. The next day, he was very angry that we didn’t look out for him.

The times we put up with him and told him the annoying shit he did? He’d be like, “Haha oh my god! I was drunk! I so don’t remember anything! I’m so cute and funny!”

Well he didn’t actually say that, but he certainly ravelled in the attention.

The idea of not remembering the night before when you’re drunk is absolute bullshit. Even though you’re drunk, you’re still able to make conscious decisions. I know so from real, first hand experience. You can’t remember the smaller details, but you can still recall most of the night.

If you have a friend who’s constantly getting drunk and making use of that, he’s a fake. Steer clear. Just do a disappearing act when he has had imbibe too much.

3) The fake friend spins a tale out of his otherwise simple ass job

I once went out with an extremely pretentious girl who described her job as, “I’m in charge of making calls to potential clients. It is up to me to keep gathering prospects for the company so that deals can be closed. A lot of money is involved.”

Bitch was just a telemarketer. She made $8/hr.

Work is important. Everybody has to work, but only the fake people see the need to show how important their work is to others. That’s when they start embellishing everything if their job truly sucks.

Or, if their job is pretty prestigious and commands a high salary, they’d only be talking about work most of the time. That’s when they shamelessly try to compare salaries, number of hours worked or what cars everybody drive.

Do you see how the fake friend only looks at people as a set of status and numbers?

4) The fake friend studies extremely hard to be current with the news

That way, he or she can appear sophisticated, when they’re not. They also do this to try to fit in with a different crowd.

Ever had a friend who’s not into politics, but at the bar he seems to very well-versed in a couple of lines and names? He did his homework.

This happened to me once. The girl I was with recited the same, exact line to two different groups on some current news piece on that day itself.

A fake friend will never care about deeper issues like, you know, passion, personality and stuff.

5) The fake friend always exaggerates everything and borders on lying to make himself look good

That is when you’re like, “Hey, that’s not what happened.”

And then he turns the whole group against you as he makes the joke about you.

This happens way too often to many people, but we tend to brush it off even though it actually bothers us.

Don’t put up with this shit, especially if the joke’s on you. There’s a limit to how much noise an empty vessel should make. Don’t make up excuses for a friend. Be with friends you don’t have to question at all.

6) The fake friend NEVER follows up on anything

Because he knows talk is cheap. And his weak character isn’t brave enough for real talk.

This is why fake people are so good at disappearing acts or coming up with a ton of excuses. Promises will be broken and you’ll be left it in the lurch.

If you noticed, the fake friend usually talks the most during social situations with alcohol present. It’s just way too easy to put on a positive front when everybody is drinking.

7) A fake friend is a broke friend

Because he’s all, “Blah blah blah” and then, “Could you lend me twenty bucks?”

Or, “I got this man” then disappears when the bill arrives.

He will never pay back. The fake friend is not ready for the real world and will never get off his ass to get a job.

8) The fake friend makes it easy

Come on man. Deep down you know your friend is fake. It’s that nagging feeling telling you that your friend really isn’t your friend.

“He annoys me”, “I guess I can tolerate him a bit more…”, “Oh he’s actually a good guy” or “I’m not sure why I always hang out with him, but oh well” come to mind.

The signs are all there. No one is dumb enough to not see it. But because you want to seem like a good person, you justify way too much for the fake friend; you always give the benefit of the doubt.

That being said, the fake friend is hence also dumb because he thinks he can get away with it.

9) There is always ambiguous shit-talking behind your back

Ever been in a social circle where everyone is always willing to tell you who said what about someone? And then it eventually leads to you?

Somebody would probably start with, “Hey man, I heard he said that about you” or “Oh what do you think of him? and eventually, you’d be accused, “I heard you were talking shit behind my back?”

Or more laughably, “Why did you tell everybody my secret?” when obviously, the fake friend was telling the whole world his “secret.”

If you’re in such a circle, guess what? All your friends are fake. They’re only alive because of the gossip.

10) The fake friend is overly nice to everybody

Being nice is cool. Being overly nice is not. It’s common sense.

You just know that there’s a chock full of hidden agendas somewhere there.

I’m not just talking about people who are only being nice to get a favour in return, but do you see that overly nice people fall under not following up on anything?

Perhaps they lack the balls to say no, but whatever it is, the fake friend has crossed the line into becoming fake as they don’t know the consequences of being a Yes Man to everyone as they think they can get away with being nice through words only.

11) You have friends, but you feel like you don’t

It doesn’t matter how many likes you get, how many followers you have or even how many people you see everyday.

When you feel alone while being with people, something is wrong.

When you have to sigh and shake your head whenever somebody tells you something, something is wrong.

When you’re unwilling to do somebody a favour because you feel they don’t deserve it, something is wrong.

When you in need of help and your “friends” are nowhere to be found, something is definitely wrong.

Best to change the environment. It’s fake. Time to get back to a reality you deserve.

If you enjoyed this article, please click on the little green heart below. I’d love you for it. Thanks.

Check out my other articles right here baby!

My name is Alden Tan and I’m sick of bullshit in the personal development space thanks to the pretentious people out there. I love writing and I’m also a Bboy.


Get my free book here if you want to stay in touch with me: 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a Fuck About!


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Alden Tan

Alden Tan


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