Originally answered on Quora here. I wrote this after I turned 30, obviously. It was a time when I was still raw. I’ve grown a lot since, but many of the things still hold true.
Here we go: 10 Things I Stopped Doing After I Turned 30
1) Picking up my calls
I honestly think that this is a waste of time. Technology has it made it too easy today to communicate via text or instant messaging.
More often than not, people who like to call are the same guys who claim to be too busy to even reply a text anyway. These are the real assholes if you ask me.
What really grinds my gears is when somebody replies my email or text with a call. I mean, if I fucking wanted to call or if it was urgent in the first place, I’d have called! Stop being annoying and weird!
So yeah. I don’t pick up my calls, at least 99% of them. I let them text me later.
2) Say yes even though I don’t want to
Just say no if you really don’t want to comply or do that favor or whatever.
You can say no. You’re allowed to watch out for yourself. You’re allowed to be a “bad person.”
3) Pleasing everyone I meet
You can’t do it. It’s impossible. Try to please everyone is your ticket to unhappiness. Guaranteed. I don’t know why it took me so long, but I stopped this after I turned 30.
So fuck that. You don’t need to be mean or unfriendly, but you don’t need to suck up to an asshole either.
4) Putting up a front to appear friendly just to make friends
I don’t like making friends anymore. I am that introverted. I prefer 1-on-1 meetups where there’d be meaningful conversations than groups with their own special dynamics. Unless it’s my special group, I can’t be fucked with the dynamics.
The way I see it, I’m already past 30. I have my few close friends. That’s enough. Why do I need to be friends with everybody? I am not running for president.
I am always polite. I am not that much of an asshole, but if you can read into my body language, you will know I am not interested to talk to you upon first meeting, especially if you’re real bore who talks about normal, everyday shit like, “What do you do for a living?”, which is usually followed with “Oh do you know Bob?” No, I don’t fucking know Bob! The place is fucking huge! Geez!
5) Attending weddings
Even after I turned 30, this shit never stops!
They’re a fucking waste of time. It’s a block of time and wad of cash gone for the night.
Essentially, it irks me that the couple, who has every right to feel that it’s a very important night for them tries to place said importance on the guest, “pressuring” them to come just because.
I just don’t bother anymore. I give an excuse, because whatever. The time and money can be of better use for myself.
6) Obeying and doing the right thing
I’ve a bunch of anger issues, and from experience, doing the right thing still leads to me being pissed off. So I stopped obeying altogether. I mean, life is already unfair, so this is my way of not playing fair anymore.
I don’t do shit to get into trouble intentionally of course, but I make little decisions for the sole sake of my benefit, like the examples in this list.
7) Showing up
I do not show up for anything as long as there is somebody there I dislike.
It is as simple as that.
People who do that are hypocrites to me, saying shit like, “Oh I’m patronizing and civil” or deciding last minute, “Oh that person who used to piss me off? Ahhh he’s actually ain’t that bad.”
Bullshit. If you have the gall to constantly gossip and bitch about somebody in the back, then have the gall to stop putting on a facade in front of them. Stop being a god damn coward.
8) Saving money for pretty much nothing
I am pretty frugal in my life. I can easily save a lot of money.
But the thing is, I realized no amount of money can make me feel happy. It can only make me feel stable.
The stability however, keeps changing, which in turn makes room for more worrying. E.g. if I go from $500 to $1000 in a month, I’d feel great at $1000 and probably spend a little. If I then one day, accidentally spend too much and go from $8000 to $7000, I’d be like, “Oh fuck I spent too much! I gotta make sure I don’t go below $7000 or else I may develop a bad habit of spending too much!”
So I stop letting money rule me. I splurge when the time is right. I want to grow up and look back at happy memories, not a fat bank account that won’t mean shit to you after you die.
Yet at the same time, I balance it by saving enough from time to time. Money needs to be played with, but with caution.
9) Looking up to rich assholes
Listen up: Just because somebody is rich or famous doesn’t mean that they’re successful.
Some are depressed and unhappy.
Some lack even basic human decency.
Some are faking it.
Some are just plain assholes who think they can manipulate people.
It’s a waste of time. After I turned 30, I wondered why I did this for so long.
If they’re nice, go ahead and learn from them and be inspired.
Then go at it your own way. You’ve your own path anyway. Look forward, not up where assholes are.
You’re you, so lead your own life. It’s never too late to start.
10) Managing my anger
As far as my experience goes, anger management is not the cure for anger itself.
Anger is a deep emotion that needs lots of time to deal with. To say that I simply need anger management tips, techniques or some one-stop solution just ain’t going to cut it.
I realized admitting that I’m angry person, not being nice when I don’t want to and even giving in to the fact that I am one bad day away from being a criminal helps way more.
If anything, it allows me to feel that I am in control for once.
Emotions are tricky. It’s all about balancing it properly so you can lead a healthy life.
And you should go at it your own way. Fuck what others think.
It’s your battle.
That’s it! These are the things I stopped doing after I turned 30. More to come every year of course.